So the nieces and nephew came over today and we decided to go out. I wanted to cook but the wife didn't want me to work as I have been pretty tired lately. Now of course it is hard for us to go out because we have to find a place with gluten free options. Luckily there is this burger joint that has a bunch of gluten free stuff so we went there. It is called Bareburger.
Now this is a chain and it has a California vibe. Laid back. It gives you menu place mats. The kids get coloring pages and crayons. This hipster douche with a man bun grabs his kids paper and starts coloring. The shit you have to put up with when you want to give someone a slap.
Anyhoo we all look at the menus. Now it was early bird Saturday night and they had the second team in. It was only 3 and the heavy hitters start on the night shift. So they had a couple of brothers working as waiters. Not actual brothers. You know. Soul brothers.
So this kid comes over and takes our order. Got pretty much everything wrong. I am pretty easy going but they fucked up the wifes order and she don't play that. She ordered turkey bacon and guacamole on the side but the poured it over the top of her gluten free veggie burger. And the bun wasn't toasted. It was basically frozen as they must keep the gluten free buns in the freezer and they never toasted it when they corrected the order. Still they comped it so they did the right thing and I can't complain..
But that wasn't the funny part. You see after every item on the menu they have letters that denote something. They have a "V" for Vegan or a "GF" for gluten free. So my niece sees one that she doesn't understand. She asks the waiter "There's an "N" after this burger....What does the "N" stand for?" My mother in law shouts from across the table as she points at me and yells "DON'T ASK HIM WHAT THE N WORD IS."
We are still laughing.
5 comments:
Nuffin.
Nebulous, nebulous burger, lighter than air. Or an AA admissions slip to Harvard, very light.
Photographers need to go into the hamburger business. Whenever I get a fast food hamburger it looks like someone sat on it.
N hasn't yet shown up on the menus of restaurants I frequent in flyover country. What does the "N" on the menu stand for?
Best I can come up with, according to EU regulations is N = Sesame seeds
EU law demands the display of this allergy information. Here’s the list typically used in Viennese establishments:
A = Cereals containing gluten
B = Crustaceans
C = Eggs
D = Fish
E = Peanuts
F = Soja
G = Milk and lactose
H = Nuts
L = Celery
M = Mustard
N = Sesame seed
O = Sulphur dioxide and sulphites
P = Lupins
R = Molluscs
Roll the clock back to 1964 when I was 4 or 5. We didn’t eat out much except for the occasional fish fry and of course at drive-ins like A&W or Dog ‘n Suds when we were on the road. McDonalds was still pretty new to the Midwest. One day my parents took my brother and me to a swanky supper club - a sit down place with tablecloths. Of course we even had to dress up. That was a first for me. I don’t really remember what happened there because my mother likes to tell the story, but apparentlly I pointed at another dining patron and said out loud: “Look mom, that man looks just like Magilla Gorilla.”
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