One time I yelled at my dog for spazzing out, "RELAX!" And she did. She was actually twirling on the end of the leash, then stopped dead awaiting the next instruction in a new calmed state. She stopped spazzing out and relaxed. And from then on she relaxed on command. She instantly calmed herself right down no matter what just by telling her to. And I thought, man, this dog is easy to train. She's thinking the same thing about me.
That's what this reminded me of.
I know. I know. I know.
It's an old joke but it still gets me. It's our version of the North Korean military uniforms. Don't you find North Korean military uniforms ridiculous? Their exaggerated hats like sombreros, their exaggerated medals and ribbons that go to the floor.
The more of these ribbons you have, the more experience you show. But showing it, that's the thing. Displaying your experience in readable form. As if anyone reads them. They just see the size of your patch of ribbons. The military is extremely class conscious within its own class. Outside the military that's gouache. Imagine in business if we all went around displaying our curriculum vitae, our résumé on our chests like this. Constantly bragging about our position. I suppose in a way we do, by the tailoring of our suits, our ties and pocket squares, our watches cufflinks and leather shoes. Our automobiles. Our language. Our emotional control.
When Trump called for Mark,
Secretary of the Army Mark Esper. Where is Mark? Mark. Mark. Mark? How are you, Mark? Doing a great job. And a man that has gotten more publicity than me, lately, our new Secretary of State –- first in his class at West Point. Is that a true story?
I slipped into a laughing fit that would not stop. The Mark. Mark. Mark. part cracked me up so hard, it connected to other similar funny things, other Trumpisms, how that drives people insane, the casual schmoozing, the repeating of the name, the drilling of it, awarding a football team, getting in the guy's credentials, the thought of people seeing this and becoming disgusted, the things that disgust people, Trump's delight in these things, everybody going along, the formality of it, my body convulsed involuntarily, a real seizure of crunch exercises through laughter, intense isometrics, that left me wracked. Exactly like a seizure. Choked breathing. My sides still hurt from laughing so hard, and it just kept rolling.
These boys are dead serious.
Paul told me about his trip to Grand Canyon. His hike to the bottom and back was quite an experience, he detailed it to me. Donkey trials, dust on shoes, every detail. He included encountering a young man with a woman coming up as he went down. "You look like an Army academy cadet."
"Yes sir!"
Seeing Paul imitate this encounter is hilarious itself. They are opposite men from opposite worlds. The cadet made the woman get up at 5:00 in the morning and they had been hiking from 15 miles away, down into the canyon, through it, from the opposite side, then back. Much further than Paul would go. Paul met them as he was just starting out. They were finishing up. Imagine how hard it is for the woman just to have this cadet in her life. Clearly, keeping up with him is exhausting. And that's him having fun. The bags all packed and ready to go, a check list all checked, the trunk packed up just so, the dishwasher loaded as the manual describes. The air filters changed out on schedule, batteries in the smoke alarms changed out on schedule, the lawn mowed every week, the windows and mirrors and baseboards kept spotless. The cadet brings that military snappiness and drilled in discipline with him to civilian encounters. And it's startling when you see it. There's a whole different world.
8 comments:
Those all-wool 44s get warm in the sun, just sayin'.
We don't need a Space Force. That's right up there with creating the DeptEd, EPA, and Homeland Security with TSA.
I wrote the above while watching the Yankees take batting practice. Verlander had first official pitch.
Attention to detail.
It keeps you alive.
Whenever I see ceremonies like this and hear hundreds of billions of dollars thrown around I always think how much better it would have been and would be to this day if a modest republic had been maintained. Citizens going in to serve and then returning to their farms, factories, offices, workshops, classrooms. Hopelessly naive? Why?
Army beat Navy two years in a row...who knew?
ricpic said...
Hopelessly naive? Why?
Because the myth of the Minuteman was just that. Washington needed Von Steuben to drill his farmers into an army. They needed to be taught discipline and the right way to do things.
We also learned professionals did it better - even against Indians, let alone the British, Mexicans, or Spaniards.
We also learned that the farmer always has one foot at home. That he drifted away from Lee's army as much as he did Washington's and there had to be rules about it. That he would mutiny when he didn't like what was happening. And that he would act on his prejudices and his racism in a foreign country unless a Zachary Taylor held him responsible.
The days of a Brown Bess or Pennsylvania Long Rifle above the mantle are long gone.
If they ever really existed.
When I see Trump doing his semi-schmooze, semi-prepared, semi-required speech routine--he looks for the life of me like he's brought himself to the party and is present, attentive and sort of enjoying himself in addition to fulfilling a duty.
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