Mad politics

I've been eagerly awaiting my subscription to Mad magazine and finally two issues appeared at once, the little stamp in the corner is marked 'February 2017' for one and 'April 2017' for the other.

Why would I do such a thing?

It went like this; I have my favorite sites that I think are reliable sources and then there's everyone else who are just out of their minds, wholly lacking perspective beyond their own one true perspective, incapable of identifying real issues properly nor weighing issues properly and always on about the wrong things and in the wrong ways. Then one day the writers that are left at Charlie Hebdo said they have no desire to mock Islam anymore. There was a lot of discussion about that. At that time I wondered if we had anything comparable to Charlie Hebdo and I couldn't think of anything. Maybe, possibly, per chance, it could be Mad magazine. Perhaps. I wondered how Mad magazine handled Muhammad satire so I looked and it seemed from what I could see at the time that Mad magazine wrote as much about the American boxer, Muhammad Ali.

My favorite sites discuss the same issues. As you do, I read their links in their sidebars and bookmark those places too so the sites liked by the sites that I like all appear to discuss basically the same things  usually in the same ways.

Suddenly with Trump everything is different due to split loyalties and jolting reassessments all around so the coverage being discussed about how news industry itself is a hot mess so slaphappy as to be indistinguishable from Mad magazine.

The magazine I read at 9 years of age, thinking, man, these people sure know about a lot of stuff, and then dropped abruptly at 10 years of age for being impossibly inane and stuck forever at prepubescence. Now the news I read online is the same as Mad magazine. I bet $10.00.

That is my theory.

Let's see.

*  The cover is MAGA hat filled with green slop that Alfred E. Newman is slurping without any spoon. 

* The Fundalini Pages explain things like "Reason for NFL Drop" and "The Real Reasons why Angelina Jolie is Divorcing Brad Pitt." In this section are few political items: 

**  "Why is President Obama's Approval Rating So High?" 

  1) Anyone who said they liked him got a $50.00 Amazon gift card.

  2) The poll respondents thought they were being asked about Michelle Obama.

  3) America is finally free of racism, obviously.

  4) The results were misreported: 55% of people didn't approve of Obama, it was 55 people. 

  5) He's been much more personable lately, what with him about to escape the living hell he's been trapped in since 2008.

** Features of the Clintons' new Chappaqua Home.

Text overlain photo of white frame ranch style house.

  1) Laundry room with basket of deplorables for Bill's underwear

  2) Document burning fireplace

  3) Multiple fainting couches for a pneumonia-wracked Hillary to collapse on

  4) Unused victory party supply pantry

  5) Pantsuit humidor

  6) Doomed campaign keepsake gallery

  7) Sobbing lounge

  8) Expansive, walk-in private e-mail server closet

  9) Candlestick that, when pulled, rotates Bill's swinging mancave back into a respectful-looking library

** Fundalini Asks: Why Didn't You Vote on Election Day

Text under photos of young adults

  1) "I loved both candidates so much, I didn't want to hurt eigher of thier feelings by voting for the other!"

  2) "The proposed amendment making asparagus the state vegetable didn't make it on the ballot, and sorry, I'm a single-issue voter."

  3) "I was in the hospital recovering fro burns. Thanks a lot, Samsung." 

  4) "I thought the election was December 8th and Nicki Minaj's birthday was November 8th. Well, at least she got a nice card a month early!"

  5) "I found an 'I Voted' sticker on the ground so I didn't bother going through with it." 

**  Ways that Billy Bush Celebrated his Birthday

  1) The same thing he's been doing since the Trump tape was released; slowly rocking back and forth in bed with the covers pulled over his head.

  2) Wishing someone, anyone, would take him "furniture shopping"

  3) Searching job sites for openings in the "Vapid, Grinning Sycophant" Industry

  4) Interviewing himself in the mirror, asking, "So what's next for Bill Busy?" In an increasingly hysterical voice

  5) Visiting local locker rooms for some invigorating, much-needed "banter"

* 20 Dumbest People, Events And Things 2016, a dumb thing per page for 20 pages, has a number of political entries.

#1 The Donald Trump Run for Presidency. Donald Trump was an obnoxiously rich reality-TV jackass until he became ... (cartoon of Trump stretching an eagle like a dishrag) ... The Toxic Contender

#2 The Clinton Foundation Is it Grafty in Here? A poster for a musical, "Money Girl" 

#3 Flint Michigan's Toxic Water

#4 Fox News' Roger Ailes Trouble With the Perv, a film poster Roger and Me ... and her and her and her and her.

  #5 Donald Trump's Advisors, two full pages of Republicans made up to look like Mad Max goon squad type figures with menacing names. Donald Trump's Moral Slide Squad.

  #9 Anthony Weiner Sext Scandal (continued) For Huma the Bell Tolls. The secret life of Putz.

  #11 north Carolina's Transgender Bathrooms. Keeping North Carolina Bathrooms safe from transgender persons who want to take a whizz. Governor Pat McCrory Stall Cop. 

  #13 Donald Trump's Misogyny The Piggish Loser. A (deplorabe) People magazine cover. The most Sexist Man Alive. Nobody respects women more than me. On Hillary Clinton "Such a nasty woman." On Former Miss Universe Alicia Machado "She was like an eating machine." On Carly Fiornia, "Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that?" 

  #14 Hillary' Email Debacle Deletes of hHer Worries, two full pages of text displayed as if three opened books. 

  #15 Gary Johnson Stumped by Easy Questions Info A Rude Awakening. 

  #16 Donald Trump Paid No Taxes the Art of the Heel

  #20 The Trump Foundation Scam I am 

So, that's it for the political entries that I noticed in the February issue. I haven't looked through the April one yet. Pleased to see Mad magazine equal opportunity offenders. The lickspittle entry on Obama is obnoxious then I must stop and look at them for doing that and remember these people are grownups, old ones at that, attempting to be obnoxious and sarcastic as possible thinking as nine-year old males. They're sitting in their chairs trying to be sarcastic as possible. Read it in a sarcastic adolescent voice and it becomes hilarious and not the absurdly sincere drooling it appears being mocked. It reads as "Now here's or precious beloved national community project we've undertaken to successful completion, mustn't allow any soil nor taint nor foul scent to mar its communal beauty." And that is a bit funny. 

I wish I would have thought of this earlier to compare Mad magazine's coverage of Obama controversies that had our attentions so strongly. I can buy back issues to see but I'm not up to going through all 8 years. They're tearing at everything about Trump and from the liberal angles. As expected. But I still don't know how or if they treated Obama with kid gloves or simply mocked his coverage as they seem to do here. 

Gladly, this issue has a lot of other crazy stuff, a lot of caricature portraits. There is a 6-page spread on a movie featuring Tom Hanks about "Sully" the pilot who put the plane down in the Hudson River. The pictures of the crowds of people are great cartoons. They're the sort of images that some bars allow by accepting an artist's interpretation of the patrons as mural on one of the walls, except better. A couple of Spy vs. Spy where you must study the images to see what the black and white spies are up to and the lengths they go to outwit each other. There are 4 pages of cartoon panels on the subject of commuting. One Day at the Doctor's Office, a 4-panel cartoon. Planet Tad appears to be an online dairy, or a blog. More panel cartoons, "The Strip Club," featuring It only hurts when I laugh, Shishka Bob, Brown Bear, Delusions of Gran, and Scribble Mountain. And of course, their wonderful fold in feature. 

This time it's not in its usual place as inside back cover, rather, it's #19 of the Stupidest things of 2106, What Gender based change are many American stubbornly refusing to accept? The cartoon shows feminists raging with protest signs underneath Target "Our Restrooms open to All" The protest signs all get covered when the page is folded so that arrows meet so there is no point in even reading the protest signs. Everything between the arrows is irrelevant to the solution. The only thing that matters is the content in front of the A arrow and behind the B arrow. The bulk of the cartoon is folded to oblivion. The artist justifies the text at the bottom improperly so that the bulk of the text disappears when the page is folded. So that "Females fear public restrooms, they hear of ghastly things happening in there. But most-(line break) ly it's in their imaginations. The worst business is telling all this to news reporters. So all that is reduced to "Female Ghost Busters" when the page is folded so that A and B arrows touch. 

Conclusion: This first month wasn't so bad as I thought although there is an awful lot of material on presidential elections. There was nothing about Russia interfering with our elections so I cannot say that Mad takes up all progressive media claptrap and makes them identical. I expected more drubbing along those lines since its become major Democrat concern. Reading the Denver Post or NYT or Washington Post on anything political is the exact same thing as reading Mad magazine. I can stay as informed as anyone that I know, I'll have their full perspective by simply reading Mad magazine. Except for the Russian thing, but I'll give that time to sink in for Mad. It's probably in March issue or maybe even this April issue that I have here. 

This turned out to be more fun than I expected.