“I say Will old man I believe we are on the horns of a dilemma”
mewled a diffident David Brooks as he sipped from his sherry and straightened
his silk cravat. He was sitting in the book lined study of his club. The True
Blue Conservative Club of the Upper East Side. Founded by the original Henry
Cabot Lodge and John Jacob Astor at the dawn of the Republic it is the
epicenter of the Conservative movement in the United States. “I fear that we
have not only lost the nomination. I fear that we have lost the party.”
“Balderdash Brooks. Don’t be such a ninny. The Republican Party
belongs to us. Even my retarded son knows that. Trump is a fad. An aberration.
Like not wearing spats. You know it will all blow over soon enough once he is
destroyed in the general election by the wretched harridan.” Will adjusted his
well- worn rump on his well-worn armchair. Thoughts of Trump agitated him. It
cause his anus to constrict. Much as the sight of his headmaster used to do
before he called him in for discipline. It was not a pleasant memory.
Another voiced piped into the conversation. “I don’t know I
think David might be right” whimpered Bill Kristol as he marked up the large
globe with new countries he needed to talk about on FOX news to lay the ground
work for America to invade and nation build. Equatorial Guinea looked like a
possibility. He had always disliked Italians.
“Trump seems to have triumphed. Even the delegates that we thought
we could steal have backed away. Young Sasse has been rebuked by those witless
burghers in his benighted home state of Nebraska or wherever he is from. They voted
to censure and primary anyone who refused to support the Republican nominee. I
doubt anyone would risk their sinecures to fight on against Trump if their
seats are at risk.”
“Hurrrumph” growled Will as he moved flem from one part of
his sinus to the other. It was a gift he had. Having a calm exterior will being
a roiling mass of flem underneath. “Don’t go all wobbly on me Kristol. You are
only here on sufferance you know. We only let Jews in to count money and
influence their fellows who control the banks that the Trilateral commission
does not yet control. So be silent while your betters converse. Sasse is not an
issue. When the press digs into his past and find out his history of being in
charge of the Congressional pages when they were molested by Hasbert and Foley
his career will be at end. If we have to expend him now it is for the best.
Cannon fodder at the best my dear Yiddish chap. No. We will continue the fight.
We are taking names of those who support these upstarts and fools. We drum them
out of the party and have the party we were always meant to have. Now call a
Mexican to bring my car around. I have to go home to my estate to flog my
manservant.”
10 comments:
I'm glad you decided to cerealize this for us to munch on. You should consider doing it every Sunday until November. There will always be grist for the mill.
Bravo, again
They've lost, but they can't admit it.
1980 all over again.
edutcher said...They've lost, but they can't admit it.
1980 all over again.
I wouldn't mind hearing a few more words about 1980 parallels, edutcher.
The trouble w/ the "Will-people" is that they all think that they are far more intelligent that those who support Trump. Their self image depends upon perceived intellectual superiority, and it will be extremely difficult for them to admit to themselves that they were wrong.
When you lose, you gotta eat it. Eat it.
"Equatorial Guinea looked like a possibility. He had always disliked Italians."
Ha.
chickelit said...
I wouldn't mind hearing a few more words about 1980 parallels, edutcher.
The trouble w/ the "Will-people" is that they all think that they are far more intelligent that those who support Trump. Their self image depends upon perceived intellectual superiority, and it will be extremely difficult for them to admit to themselves that they were wrong.
They think like Lefties which, if you consider it, isn't that big a surprise.
Remember, this, like '80 is a rerun of the fight between the Goldwater and Rockefeller wings of the party. Like Trump, everyone was sure Reagan couldn't win, he was an actor (B-movies, at that), his negatives were sky-high, and everybody's favorite, he wasn't all that bright. His record in CA was totally ignored by people that opposed him.
What isn't in the mix is that, then, the pros understood they had a golden opportunity to keep Carter to one term and maybe take the Senate (an opportunity they hadn't had since '32*), so they were sensible enough to cut a deal. The issue is they didn't want a rerun of '64.** So, Reagan took Bush 41 as his VP in the name of party unity and took a couple of his consiglieri into the Cabinet - James Baker at State and Donald Regan at Treasury. It was an arrangement that worked fairly well.
There was a lot more party discipline then. The only real names besides Bush in '80 were Howard Baker (of Watergate fame) and John Connally and they knew when they had been beaten. John Anderson tried a third party run, but it went nowhere because the party bosses laid down the law.
This time it's the urgency of keeping Hillary (or Bernie (or Joe)) out of the Rainbow House and hanging onto control of the Senate and this is where the Ricketts family and Sheldon Adelson have been the best we've got on the score of telling everybody to put their egos on hold. To their credit, they've gotten Rinse to see the light (mostly).
The odd part is, I can see as much of '68 as '80 this year, but it's a year of rebellion, so the parallels are fairly plain.
* The Congressional years of '46 and '52 were one-offs.
** The blowout of '72 was attributed to George McGovern's being an ideologue even more extreme than Goldwater, although, ironically, '80 was a bigger disaster for the Demos than '64 for the Rs.
Very nice analysis Ed. Very astute.
Thank you, sir.
The one point where I think it's going to be interesting is, if there are debates, how do they go.
The debates in '80 made Reagan and could make Trump if Hillary (assuming she's the one) puts on her cold, mean, angry, I'm entitled face.
Keep in mind, no debates in, '64 - '72.
Trump beating Hillary in debates would be condign punishment for George Will.
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