Barry Loves David

“One of my most powerful memories and one of my proudest moments as president was watching Boston respond after the marathon, and when Ortiz went out and said, probably the only time that America didn’t have a problem with somebody cursing on live TV, was when he talked about Boston and how strong it was and that it was not going to be intimidated.” 
"I have always loved David. Ever since I found out the was the bastard son of Idi Amin Dada. Just like me. A bastard son of nasty African. David is a real hero. He sacrifices his body by filling it full of illegal steroids so he can help the Red Sox Nation. That was the only way they could ever win. By cheating. It's a Boston thing. Just the way the Patriots do all the time."



"The other thing I love about David is that he loves dogs. And gay sex. He takes his rare clumber everywhere. Even when he is hooking up with guys from Grinder in the Fens. That photo of him with his clumber is so cute. Luckily I don't have to go out to look for love. I have Reggie. That's why I have to support Hillary. She has Huma. Birds of a feather you know?"
"I am just like David. I can not be intimidated. No matter how many innocents are killed I will never critize a Muslim. Or stop them from comming into our country with suitcases full of nails and explosives. Those nasty old white people clinging to their guns and religion can't intimidate me."
"Sorry I have to go. I have to get on the phone with the Wise Latina so she can figure out how to force the Little Sister of the Poor to provide free scumbags and abortions. It is Easter after all. Ciao."