black vs white

The next time your plastic surgeon face-lift neighbors bitch about loose oranges you can point out their contribution to global warming. 

I'm kidding. 

My plan of attack is kill with kindness. I'm very good this way with ladies. The thing is, those oranges are good. They are an asset. A valuable asset. An asset that can go far in community relations. I recall you setting up giveaways or good faith payment or whatever by setting oranges out front for people to take. 

Is that right?

I'd gather lady-like attractive boxes, make something of a presentation, ladies like that, a lot more than men do. Fancy boxes, or at least thoughtful boxes, decorated boxes somehow with special paper or something, ribbons, colored cellophane. Get ideas from gift boxes how far you decide to take it, possibly bags with rope handles, something more than grocery store bags, I'd even consider fabric headscarves that can be used, good ones, not trashy headscarves but rather excellent fabric. Japanese ladies do that, wrap things in large swaths of fabric like scarves instead of bags or boxes, and give your resources , the delightful and delicious and unique boutique oranges, directly to the receptionists or anybody you meet there, doctors and such, and turn on your charm on to them, listen carefully to their complaints or whatever and make it altogether more difficult for them to bitch at you or complain to the authori-tahs. 

And ask them, by the way, don't you feel a little bit guilty?

Why should they feel guilty?

Well, just look. Look how much effort the city and its citizens go to make sure their new roofs are white. White to reflect back the heat rather than absorb heat as black absorbs heat. It's the only smart thing to do. 

And yet your little firm over here brings inordinate amount of blacktop just to park cars. It's unconscionable, runs counter to community objectives. Like you're going against the whole thing. Surely you feel tinges of guilt about that. Surely you feel the heat rise up your skirts as you park your own car and walk into the building.

See?

White roofs all over the place. That is unusual for a city. It follows Obama's sage advice, or perhaps the other way around, either way it is  good and responsible idea.

Then there is your blacktop parking doing the exact opposite. It's amazing people do not burn up just parking their car and walking into your place.

The starkness of their ridiculous imported ocean of blacktop drives every living creature directly into your tiny oasis, rats, coyotes, owls, hawks, pigeons. Then complain about a few little oranges on the ground like you're expected to dash out there each morning to make sure there are none to offend the peeping Toms peering over the fence from their blacktop hell? As if you are their employee? Go lift somebody's face.

I meant to say just now, here, have an attractive feminine-like gift box of oranges.