tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post4873422608768278134..comments2024-03-28T00:23:01.632-04:00Comments on Lem's Levity: What is the funniest lie to tell kids?Trooper Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01978703998566102194noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-64135885173737981152017-07-15T15:01:14.170-04:002017-07-15T15:01:14.170-04:00Luke, I am your father.
Oh, good one!Luke, I am your father.<br /><br />Oh, good one!The Dudehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05354536924604187137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-52809509549753073682017-07-14T23:02:31.580-04:002017-07-14T23:02:31.580-04:00The nun who taught First Communion class to us kep...The nun who taught First Communion class to us kept drilling home the point that the host is the body and blood of Jesus. She told a lie about a kid "In another parish" who did not believe. So, after Communion he clandestinely took the host out of his mouth, wrapped it in a tissue, and took it home. In the kitchen he cut open the host w/ a steak knife, and it started bleeding. The pastor was called to the house by his parents. By the time he got there, the kitchen floor was covered in blood. The pastor said the Bishop had to be called. The bishop got to the house, started mopping up the blood w/ a brand new mop and clean towels. He then squeezed as much blood he could into a chalice and drank it. The Good Lord gave me a critical brain and I knew it was a lie. Lot of kids bought it.ndspinellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01446291993043775612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-88627760891015708592017-07-14T19:57:47.495-04:002017-07-14T19:57:47.495-04:00I can't think of any lies, but my mother would...I can't think of any lies, but my mother would sometimes exclaim "I've been misled!", pronouncing "misled" as MY-zuld. I thought "misle" was a common English word, meaning "fool" or "trick," until I was 12 or so.Mumpsimushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03105924003974189699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-53557656259581742562017-07-14T18:52:58.228-04:002017-07-14T18:52:58.228-04:00"Mommy and Daddy are just doing what the bird..."Mommy and Daddy are just doing what the birds and bees do."<br /><br />I never saw that crazy shit on Wild Kingdom.bagoh20https://www.blogger.com/profile/10915174575358413637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-20416805532543570972017-07-14T18:26:59.654-04:002017-07-14T18:26:59.654-04:00Snipes is good eats.Snipes is good eats.Joe Biden, America's Putinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05802605309593881825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-54953178478994266262017-07-14T16:53:44.578-04:002017-07-14T16:53:44.578-04:00That said, MrM just laughed at all the stories I r...That said, MrM just laughed at all the stories I read him, above and in the post. MamaMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00300520132972757396noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-55102379570013394152017-07-14T16:41:03.580-04:002017-07-14T16:41:03.580-04:00When a child has a somewhat secure base (at least ...When a child has a somewhat secure base (at least one adult whom they can trust and count on to come through, listen, and meet their needs) they can accept and work through enormous amounts of fol-de-rol, teasing, and playful deceptions. <br /><br />Learning to trust is one of the tasks of childhood. Modeling, revealing, and teaching children what discerning trust looks like (trusting another to the degree they've shown themselves to be trustworthy) is part of a parent/caregiver's job. Fooling, shutting down, and discounting reality through dishonest representations that affect how a child functions and addresses the larger world outside the family system does them no favors.MamaMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00300520132972757396noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-40817492790730998692017-07-14T16:00:44.315-04:002017-07-14T16:00:44.315-04:00The number of lies I was told and believed is too ...The number of lies I was told and believed is too long to list. Apparently it's a thing with Pennsylvania Dutch to get as much joy as possible faking out little kids and it completely handicapped my comprehension of the real material world. The litany rages from mundane to extraordinary lies. <br /><br />For example, I was told that scallops are a chopped up eel, breaded and deep fried. And I held that belief for over two decades even though I lived in costal areas, East, West, South, and a foreign country. Until finally encountering a wall size poster of various seafood available in a seafood shop in Boston. I averred to the store owner with all the confidence of a twenty-something, "Your seafood poster is wrong." <br /><br />"What's wrong with it?"<br /><br />"It shows scallops as a kind of clam when it's really an eel that's chopped up." <br /><br />"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, you dope. They're shellfish. And don't argue with me, I know whereof I speak." <br /><br />(Mother, it's moments like this, I hate your f'k'n guts. And I <b>MEAN</b> it!) *flounces off*<br /><br />That's just one of a million. What am I, so cute and adorable I simply cannot be set straight? I promised myself when I'm grown and have kids of my own that I'll always explain things the right way. Like my dad did. Now there's a straight shooter. But not my mum's side. Her entire extended family are all mind-f'k'n dopes. For their own amusement.<br /><br />Then one day the cutest most adorable towheaded child walked into my parents back patio door with his hand cupped holding something gently in his tiny hand-globe, too precious to set straight. He said to me, "Wanna see a cali-pitter?" <br /><br />If I could just frame that adorable moment forever, I would. He'll get the pronunciation worked out on his own.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Chip Ahoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12597726289890879627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-91800450319121603332017-07-14T15:49:15.497-04:002017-07-14T15:49:15.497-04:00When I was really little my dad told me we were go...When I was really little my dad told me we were going to the nosepicking museum on vacation but not to tell mom because it was a surprise. Also claimed he could make the traffic lights change from red to green. I called him out on the traffic light thing (because he would always slow down approaching the light until it turned green) but was really disappointed when the nosepicking museum didn't pan out.Amartelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11636450794507517534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-48124441453136975292017-07-14T15:28:09.353-04:002017-07-14T15:28:09.353-04:00There was a boy in a prior parish whose name I kep...There was a boy in a prior parish whose name I kept getting wrong. Instead of calling him "Kyle," I'd call him "Caleb" (made up names); and he would get frustrated about it, and I'd apologize.<br /><br />One time I told him, "You know, because I'm a priest, if I call you by the same wrong name three times, that becomes your name! So I hope I don't do it again, <i>Caleb</i>...<br /><br />"OH NO! WHAT DID I JUST DO?!?<br /><br />"Gee, I'm really sorry, buddy, I guess your name will be Caleb from now on."<br /><br />He made a face and stamped his feet, then laughed.<br /><br />I still can't remember his name (he's grown up now and I haven't seen him in years).Fr Martin Foxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01375628123126091747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-57861394023178098782017-07-14T15:04:35.532-04:002017-07-14T15:04:35.532-04:00The gun's not loaded, I promise.
Well, it'...The gun's not loaded, I promise.<br /><br />Well, it's as "funny" as some of the other examples.Rabelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02612585516401001803noreply@blogger.com