tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post1717536853386999990..comments2024-03-28T00:23:01.632-04:00Comments on Lem's Levity: A proper thank you note in the midst of difficultyTrooper Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01978703998566102194noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-11101778355983769672016-08-19T20:33:39.554-04:002016-08-19T20:33:39.554-04:00Yeah, but it probably wasn't chocolate milk. ...Yeah, but it probably wasn't chocolate milk. #BlackMilkMattersLelandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09531159384688653131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-41721035047946967062016-08-19T19:25:35.769-04:002016-08-19T19:25:35.769-04:00\o/
You know what? I think Gary is full of shit a...\o/<br /><br />You know what? I think Gary is full of shit about the 50,000 acres. I drove a tractor on a piece of a section of a 2,000 acre wheat field in Nebraska. And that was broken up into pieces here and there. And it is very large. Ridiculously large. The back and forth, grooming the dirt, they keep it like dirt powder that you sink into when you climb off the tractor to pull the weeds out of the tool that is dragging. The toll is 64 feet wide, and I think one of them is 80 feet wide. Everything is huge. <br /><br />But 50,000 acres is 78 square miles and that is impossible. <br /><br />That place in Louisiana really was huge, but it cannot that huge, I don't think.<br /><br />I challenged Gary on the figure several times at 15 years of age and again a few decades later after all the tragedies passed. He still insisted the number is accurate. <br /><br />Now, Gary brags a lot. He aggrandizes things. He thinks in huge terms. He is huge himself. He says impossible things. Yet so far they all turned out to be true. He's baffling. <br /><br />At fifteen years and new to the Bossier City school, we both were, he told me that he studied classical piano. That he wrote a few things himself. I thought, yeah, brag on, you f'n liar. <br /><br />Then shortly after the school called us all to assembly. We had no idea the reason. Gary strode on stage and sat the piano and banged out an impossibly complex song that none of us understood. He's so fat that this fat fingers hit more piano keys than they should but it hardly mattered to us. We didn't comprehend his music anyway. It sounded like Beethoven or something to us except more complex. <br /><br />The kids had a name for him, 'Haystack' because that's what he looked like striding by. After that it was Haystack with authoritah! Haystack with respect. He was Haystack viewed with awe. Because he blew us all away at once. On top of all that he is tremendously funny. A natural comic. The crap he comes up with is totally original and unique to his specific brand of humor. Crap like this:<br /><br />"Hey Cook! My hamburger has hair in it? What's going on here?"<br /><br />*Southern black woman's voice* "I don't know, Mizza Jeffries I bin makin' em same as I always do." Patty cake, patty cake, boom patty boom, patty cake patty cake boom patty boom." <br /><br />He pantomimed making hamburger patties slapping between his hands and under his arms on the boom. A fat person doing that is hilarious. <br /><br />Now who would come up with shit like that? <br /><br />Or he'd put his hand in both pockets, and say, "Hey little girl, do you like rabbits? You do? Would you like to kiss this sweet little bunny? You would? Okay, here." He'd pull both hands from is pockets and bring the pockets with them so they fell to his sides drape like two white floppy bunny ears." Then his big fat Haystack gut would roll with laughter. <br /><br />About the astronomically high number of acres, 10X in excess of outrageously high number, I'd say, "You've confused acres with inches." and "you meant 50 acres." "500 acres is too many acres." and "5,000 acres is too much to own," and in each case he stuck with that figure, and now at this late point I still cannot accept it. But that is what he said, that is what he insisted. Chip Ahoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12597726289890879627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-36114295502461300452016-08-19T18:38:26.366-04:002016-08-19T18:38:26.366-04:00Gratitude is something I seek in myself. I thank p...Gratitude is something I seek in myself. I thank people in person, in writing, and online every chance I get. I was taught that by my parents, Jesuits, and the good Sisters of St. Joseph. I constantly pray to God to help me be vigilant in being gracious. These nice people are the kind of people you want to have as friends. <br /><br />Lem has a good heart. He finds stories like this and shares them w/ us. The older I get the more I seek out people w/ good hearts, and avoid those w/ darkness and negativity. ndspinellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01446291993043775612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-18247671112303340832016-08-19T18:05:55.909-04:002016-08-19T18:05:55.909-04:00People who have values do this daily.People who have values do this daily.AllenShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08848966772462502893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-717986195212622043.post-33698770093065690122016-08-19T18:02:22.416-04:002016-08-19T18:02:22.416-04:00That is a great story. Thanks for posting it. That is a great story. Thanks for posting it. Evi L. Bloggerladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00371362907839227149noreply@blogger.com