Friday, May 4, 2018

A large woman

I put in a usual order for groceries to be delivered. It's a large order. When I do this myself I always have a good time with people, the workers and customers alike. And I feel great doing it too. So I don't understand why the last five times as I'm loading someone either coming out of the store or entering the store stops as they're passing and offers me help loading the truck. I must have truck-loading body dysmorphia. I think that I look solid steady and strong, when by actual appearance I look like a worn out tired mess.

I don't know.

I do know the whole thing is exhausting, the driving, parking, shopping, loading the truck, unloading the truck, two trips upstairs, unloading the cart, putting everything away. I have to sit down and shoot my arm full of heroine. I meant to say rest.

So, ordering for delivery really does make a huge difference. They do all that.

But this girl was different. They've always been within the first minute of the window. She was 2.5 hours late. They never bothered texting before. She texted each step. She texted each substitution. She texted her starting, her changing stores, her traffic situation, her lateness twice, her parking situation. She is new and uncertain and not independent. I felt like I had done the shopping myself.

I waited for her outside but did not see her. She was late beyond her announced lateness. Then I saw woman carrying a few heavy groceries, two items were the same as I ordered, but hardly the full order and no cart for the rest. I opened the door for who I assumed was a resident who I hadn't yet met. She is a large woman. Easily twice my weight. And young. Are you Heather?

"Yes."

"Oh. Those are my groceries."

I escorted her upstairs. She carried the groceries untroubled, uncomplaining, like a pack animal. I felt bad. I was impressed.


They published her picture. 

"Why didn't you bring a cart?"

"I'm new. I don't have my cart yet."

"I have a cart. 

"Great." 

She went down with my cart and brought back the rest and unloaded it all. It sounds like a small thing, but that right there saved me a great deal of trouble. And she had intended to do all that without using a cart. Four to six times the difficulty for her than it would have been for me. It would have taken several trips back and forth. And that's unacceptable. Just thinking about her doing that makes me a bit crazy. It's a lot of trouble just entering the building from street parking, and fairly long walks down hallways and waiting for elevators. Passing through security doors, knocking on my door. Where it could be a single straight shot, and quick. 

"Would you like something to drink?" 

"No thank you." 

We discussed the substitutions. I talked a bit about what I intended to do with what she brought up. She doesn't have much training in food preparation and she seemed to be specifically interested in this. She substituted green cabbage for Nappa cabbage so now I have to go out and get it. And I also have to deal with this stupid green cabbage. She substituted microwave popcorn for popcorn kernels, and there is only one thing I can do with the microwave type. 

Incidentally, the generic microwave popcorn is better than my own popcorn made the traditional way, even enhanced with cheese and spices as I do. Theirs is more tender and it's done in 3 minutes with no mess to clean up. My attitude changed about microwave popcorn. I was put off by the smell of the oil. But I must face it. Theirs is better.

"The website says a charge for delivery and another charge for driver, and that money goes directly to you." 

"That's right."

"The amount they have for you is ridiculously low so I tripled it. You really are a big help to me."

And I mean big.

"Thank you." 

"And if I have you again, your parking is arranged in the back. I already told the guys down there to expect a delivery,  that you'll only be a few minutes. They like me down there, and they all go, 'sure, no problem.'"

"Great. I hope you do get me again. I hope I get you again. This is a pleasure. This is new for me. I like it. You've been helpful to me." 

I think she'd like to hang out a bit and possibly have me show her about food preparation. She was fully attentive when I was talking and in no haste to move on. Aside from her job. That's how it sounded to me. So then, although a bit of a trouble compared with all the other delivery people, all much more independent, more capable, sure of themselves, and quick, we connected, and I must say I have respect for the very real hard physical work that I see women doing, and see it repeatedly. In no way did she shirk physical work. I could not carry the things that she did. She is impressive. 

26 comments:

edutcher said...

200 pounds?

How tall?

Curves or what? Amply endowed?

Large can mean almost anything, although I give you props for being a gentleman.

Amartel said...

She sounds a little dopey but that's probably youth and inexperience. I remember being a bit flustered and going obviously out of my way not to show it when I didn't know the ropes of what was clearly a simple job, unwritten rules that everyone else seemed to know already. She's eager to get the hang of the job. I get why you like her.

The Dude said...

Is that her picture? Just because dope is legal that doesn't mean you have to smoke it all the time.

Amartel said...

I've seen people, male and female, usually pretty big, who just look like that all the time.

Amartel said...

Though this is Colorado so not ruling it out!

ricpic said...

When Wits Count

A large woman is impressive
She can break you in half,
To unwind your distressive
Make her laugh.

Trooper York said...

You are a smart man Chip. I know this because you do what I would do. I always cultivate a personal connection with the people I deal with. Waiters. Mailmen. Delivery guys. The Deli guys.

Now that I am laid up the wife has to do the shopping. So when she goes to the Deli to get cold cuts she has me on Face Time and turns her phone to face the Deli guy so we can speak direct. They are all worried about me and want to know how I am doing. So when they slice the low sodium stuff they had Lisa slice to test it for thinness and freshness. Just as if I was there.

Of course it freaks out the people in line that they are talking to somebody on a screen. Fuck em if they can't take a joke.

My mother in law is amazed that we know everyone when we go into a place. I have a couple of friends who get pissed about that. One complained "As soon as I bring you to a place that I have been fifty times it turns into your place and you have the owner coming up to talk to you."

That only happens when you treat people like people and not servants.

Good show my friend. You do it right.

The Dude said...

The droopy eyelids and slack facial muscles are dead giveaways. Either that or she has myasthenia gravis.

Chip Ahoy said...

Over 200 lbs. I'm guessing. Very wide hips. Regular breasteses. She had a somewhat sloven appearance. And tall. I think tall as I am, or nearly so. Impressively large in all dimensions. She carried groceries in a cloth slashed bag over her shoulder, and a 20-can box of soda pop in each hand. I don't know how she expected to open doors. She carried all that as if that was ordinary thing to do. without switching the weight on her fingertips, as I would be forced to do. It would be a challenge for any dude.

By her messages I formed a picture of a little girl. I think that's what she is. Her internal self does not match her exterior self. She needs help and guidance and direction. She was somewhat a pain in the butt. Conversely she can take care of herself, driving, parking, locating, working hard, facing challenges. Knowing her insecurity, I'm surprised at her rising and meeting her challenges. She impressed me in various way. We liked each other.

I was taken by her. And she responded well to me.

The Dude said...

It is good to make connections. Be sure to invite us all to your wedding, okay?

Trooper York said...

Yes that's true Chip.

I would pursue it. She might be able to help you with a couple of other loads you need to drop. Just sayn'

edutcher said...

Big hips (and/or a Rubenesque rump) can add a lot of weight to a woman - the classic pear shape. If she's a strong girl (like you-know-who), that will also pack on the avoirdupois.

Could be she was just tired. When possible, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

PS ric, you have no idea how true that is.

MamaM said...

I also wondered about drugged. From the description she sounds "dogged" as in having or showing tenacity and grim persistence. Enough so to cause me to wonder if "Dogged Persistence" might be a more fitting post title as it would cover the behavior of both participants; ChipA's for not catching the clue after 5 times that something about his appearance or demeanor (sticks or body weight perhaps?) sets off a visual alert that triggers the maybe-he-needs-help alarm in others, in addition to the consistency of his resolve to connect in real ways and focus on positives in the people he meets, and the woman for her relentlessness in seeing the entire process through without the tools or awareness needed to handle things efficiently on her end. I'm not clear how her size or largeness figures in as a prominent detail, unless it appeared physically difficult for her to haul herself and the groceries around?

From the story, she was 2.5 hours late, she checked in constantly and still brought 2 items that were significantly different from what was ordered, her arrival was later than announced and she didn't have the tools needed to make the task of schlepping easier on her end. Yet in the face of that, the size of her willingness to devote time and energy to the task at hand appears to be what mattered most.

On a side note, I have been using a cane in public since December and am amazed at how differently I am treated by others, who appear to want to help or defer to me in some way, when the cane is usually enough to compensate and provide what I need.

Today's delivery brought a folding platform hand cart for moving the moving boxes around the new house as I settle in. I bought if for 36.00 online from Global Industries, and it's where I'd recommend a triple tip be applied if she continues with grocery delivery or there may be a cane in her future as well.

The Dude said...

That picture suggests she is HAF.

Glad you are adapting, MamaM - as I have mentioned I sometimes walk with a cane, and today I could sure use one. Many pains and aches - becoming aged is not for the faint of heart. Which reminds me - I need to go load my cart - have plenty of stuff to move around.

Trooper York said...

Its true Mama M.

I use a cane now and I get a lot of deference from people who want to help. It is very nice.

I just need it if I get dizzy so I don't hit the floor. Better safe than sorry.

Trooper York said...

Jeeez we are a bunch of old decrepit fucks.

The Dude said...

Some of us are, others, however, are still out clearing the back forty with little more than an ax and a bulldozer. AllenS - I am looking at you.

edutcher said...

No cane yet for me or Her, Mama, but I'd always give you a hand.

Also Troop.

PS The woman of whom we speak may just be a little slower than us. I think Sixty may be reading more into her expression than is really there.

As always, YMMV

The Dude said...

I hear ya, ed, but I have been working on reading photographs of faces. The slackness of the muscles around her mouth indicate something is amiss. Ask your wife what she sees - the woman in the picture is either ill or intoxicated. Or maybe her elevator is a few fries short of knife drawer.

ndspinelli said...

Sixty should whittle a cane for Trooper.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

That's right, bitchez. We grrls have it going on. All indepententz.


I rented a jack-hammer a few weeks ago because the the fence fix guy is booked out one year, and keeps telling me so despite my begging and calling since last fall.
He said "I gotta hire a guy to go rent a jack hammer from Home Depot and then have him drive it over, jackhammer out the old concrete (36" down, he failed to mention) and then return the jackhammer."
I replied - "what If I do that part? will that save enough time so that you have time to put in a new post, and re-connect that fence panel?" He said "uh yeah."

So I rented a jack hammer. I've never felt so much over-all soreness and exhaustion from a task. How do people do that day in and day out?

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

Glad you are re-covering Troop. Probably driving your better half nutz.

The Dude said...

I used to run a jack hammer when I was young. I also pushed a Georgia buggy, q.v. Also climbed trees and ran a chainsaw. Oh, right, I still do that last one. Only now I pay a frightful price for such insolence.

Good job on gittin' 'er done. My plumber always gives a hefty discount if I do my own trenching. I am cheap enough to do that. Then I fall over.

edutcher said...

Sixty Grit said...

I hear ya, ed, but I have been working on reading photographs of faces. The slackness of th muscles around her mouth indicate something is amiss

Dad, if I see anything it's depression, that listless, "why bother?", look.

Cushing's runs (gallops, if we're honest) in my mother's family and I've seen it plenty.

You may well be right, but we all see different things. That's why Roaring Chicken's inkblots are so popular.

The Dude said...

Rorschach and awe, baby!

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

Thanks, Sixty. It gave me a fresh new appreciation for people who do physical labor day in and day out. **Guys and big girls with red hair.