Thursday, July 13, 2017

"I’m Done Pretending Men Are Safe (Even My Sons)"

Via Twitter:

If the feminist men—the men who proudly declare their progressive politics and their fight for quality—aren’t safe, then what man is? No man, I fear.

I have two sons. They are strong and compassionate—the kind of boys other parents are glad to meet when their daughters bring them home for dinner. They are good boys, in the ways good boys are, but they are not safe boys. I’m starting to believe there’s no such thing.

I wrote an essay in The Washington Post last year, during the height of the Brock Turner case, about my sons and rape culture. I didn’t think it would be controversial when I wrote it; I was sure most parents grappled with raising sons in the midst of rape culture. The struggle I wrote about was universal, I thought, but I was wrong. My essay went semi-viral, and for the first time my sons encountered my words about them on their friends’ phones, their teachers’ computers, and even overheard them discussed by strangers on a crowded metro bus. It was one thing to agree to be written about in relative obscurity, and quite another thing to have my words intrude on their daily lives.

One of my sons was hurt by my words, although he’s never told me so. He doesn’t understand why I lumped him and his brother together in my essay. He sees himself as the “good” one, the one who is sensitive and thoughtful, and who listens instead of reacts. He doesn’t understand that even quiet misogyny is misogyny, and that not all sexists sound like Twitter trolls. He is angry at me now, although he won’t admit that either, and his anger led him to conservative websites and YouTube channels; places where he can surround himself with righteous indignation against feminists, and tell himself it’s ungrateful women like me who are the problem.

(Link to more)

11 comments:

Trooper York said...

I hope she enjoys her time in a nursing home where illegal immigrants will torture her because her sons hate her so.

Trooper York said...

Feminists.

Creating rabid conservatives since 1968.

God Bless their hairy underarms asses.

Mumpsimus said...

From the linked article: As a single mother, I sometimes wonder whether the real problem is that my sons have no role models for the type of men I hope they become. But when I look around at the men I know, I’m not sure a male partner would fill that hole . . . If my sons need role models, they may have to become their own.

And from the comments to that article: I'm not an expert either but maybe someone who has previously written that one of her sons is suicidal shouldn't be publicly shaming him in her essays.

Jesus. Single Mother of the Year.

Lee Lee's Valise said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Methadras said...

Rape culture = masculinty in form. There is no such thing as rape culture unless you go to a middle-eastern country or a middle-eastern occupied hovel somewhere in europe.

This thing pretending to be a woman is another idiotic leftist lunatic.

edutcher said...

This is why, when the Lefties go after somebody with the GoTo move of women screaming sexual whatever, it shouldn't be given credence until proven in court.

Several here have fallen into that trap with the allegations against Cosby, even though the court cases brought by Allred, mere et fille, have yet to be vindicated.

Right now, the only guy who has prevailed is Donald Trump because he refuses to play the game.

May he be the example.

Methadras said...

Rape culture = masculinty in form. There is no such thing as rape culture unless you go to a middle-eastern country or a middle-eastern occupied hovel somewhere in europe.

You forgot Dearbornistan.

bagoh20 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bagoh20 said...

I suppose if you ask her, the boys were a product of rape.

It seems to me these boys have a good civil case against this woman. I won't call her a mother, becuase mom's love their kids.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I think maybe in the future, historians will be able to understand writing like that only as some sort of weird contest of accommodation, sort of like the way courtiers back in the old days would work within the system of etiquette to ingratiate themselves to the king.

Fr Martin Fox said...

What a dreadful spectacle. The woman several times protests that she "loves" her sons. Another example of people not knowing what that word means.

The only heartening thing was that the commenters were fairly united and clear-eyed in seeing this situation. Less so, if you clicked through to the comments on the original Washington Post article.

MamaM said...

The Holy Spirit spoke the truth to your ancestors when he said through Isaiah the prophet:

“‘Go to this people and say,
“You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.”
For this people’s heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.’"

Yes indeed, it was "quite another thing" to have her words "intrude on their daily lives".

In a turned around way, this mother's intrusion mimics the self-centeredness and physical/emotional insertion present in the rape culture she decries.

Intrude is definitely the word: put oneself deliberately into a place or situation where one is unwelcome or uninvited.

On another note, how does she know all she claims to know?

According to her: They’ve been listening to me talk about consent, misogyny and rape culture since they were tweens. They listened to me then, but they are 16 and 18 now, and they roll their eyes and argue when talk to them about sexism and misogyny.”

Apparently she's clueless about eye rolling as part of the separation needed to form ones own belief system and identity. She also does not appear to know from experience that mutual respect in mutual relationship speaks louder than words.