Saturday, December 17, 2016
Kill Moose and Squirrel
Fearless Leader: For more then 50 years we have struggled and failed. We've used every means in our power with nothing to show for it but pain and humiliation. And yet our mission continues. That mission is kill Moose and Squirrel! In only that way can we defeat the Americans. Well it's no more Mr. Nice Guy!
Natasha: But Fearless Leader.
Boris: Ahem hello? Fearless Leader why must we kill Moose and Squirrel? Why do we want to get Trump elected? What about all those years of pain and humiliation? You can pay them back by having Hillary become President.
Fearless Leader: Too be honest i haven't had that much pain and humiliation. Yours the ones of the field my life's been pretty sweet. I went to see U2 last week and those guys have still got it.
Natasha: But Fearless Leader we have tried everything. Dynamite, scorpions dynamite tied to scorpions. Electing a black man. Taking over CNN and NBC. Forcing gay marriage and transgender bathrooms down the throats of normal people. Everything timed into destroying America and normal people.
Boris: Painting tunnels on sides of buildings.
Fearless Leader: But guess what? I put my evil genius mind to work and at last i have the answer. To catch Moose you must become moose! I give you the lady moose-bot a perfect killing machine and irresistible to Moose! So contact Michelle Obama. She does not need a suicide vest. Attach a bomb to her enormous vagina. Badanov you will control the moose-bot then when they least expect it you will kill Moose and Squirrel!