Saturday, December 17, 2016
E True Hollywood Stories
The plight of homeless Hollywood celebrities has long been a scandal. Everyone from Natalie Cole turning tricks for crack to Joanie Cunningham selling herself for Meth have been swept under the rug in todays celebrity culture. You never see this on TMZ or Entertainment Tonight.
Perhaps the worst cases of all are to be found in Cartoon town. There is usually no going back for a Cartoon Character who loses his show. They are all of them one trick ponies. Especially My Little Pony. Once you lose your show it doesn't matter how many Japanese school girls wear your underwear. In case after case these toons have fallen on hard times. Top Cat has to live in garbage cans instead of just eating out of them. Penelope Pittstop walked the streets on Hollywood Boulevard to pay for her heroin addiction. Magilla Gorilla had to marry a Kardashian. Still none of them had fallen as far as Mickey Mouse's pal Goofy.
Goofy had led a charmed life. As Mickey's best friend he got to travel and live large on Disney's dime. It all came to an end and Goofy was cast out on the street. He became homeless and lived out of a shopping cart performing sex acts for dog biscuit money. You see his fall came about because of sex. Everything went away after that faithful day when Mickey discovered that his fiancé Minnie had gone insane. You see she was fucking Goofy.
(The Cracks in Magic Kingdom, The E True Hollywood Story of Mickey Mouse)