Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Presidential Love Letters: I wish we weren't married



Dear Hillary,

I can't believe  you are going to run for President again. I mean nobody likes you, everybody hates you, you might as well eat some worms. Last time out you lost to a guy with no experience other than using Afro Sheen in his weave. Now a bug eyed socialist is cleaning your clock. Will you ever learn?

Seriously Hill we have some many things that could get exposed. Your emails including the ones to Huma where you sent her crotch shots of you elderly lady parts. Fifty shades of Gray my ass. My trips to Fantasy Island with Jeffrey and that Jew from Harvard and the grammar school girls. All the money we extorted for stupid speeches and bullshit. How do you think you can explain all this crap?

I guess I have to go along with you. I know that the only way we make money is to pretend to be married and keep the fraud going. I can't give up my rice bowl. That reminds me. I am going to call up for a Oriental escort tonight. Or maybe give Connie Chung a call. All the best hookers have Chinese eyes.

I will meet you in New Hampshire even though I know you are as big as loser as that bitch Cam Newton. I just wish we weren't married.

Love,
Bill

(Presidential Love Letters, Doris Kearns Goodwin 2015 Viking Press)

14 comments:

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

That photo looks trailer trashish.

JRoberts said...

Wow, even in this photo she looks really, really tired

Amartel said...

Misty water-color sepia-toned MEMORIES of the way we were ... in prehistoric times before we sold our souls to Satan and prostituted ourselves on the twin altars of corrupt crony money and collectivist power and then inconveniently died (He: Massive MCI during starlet sex/She: "head" injury) and were rebooted as semi-lifelike robots owned and operated by a shadowy global corporate/government alliance. (Breathe.) Scattered picTURES, of the smiles we left behind, what's too painful to remember, we simply choose to forget. In every interview, good thing nobody ever asks. So it's the loffffturrr, we will remememember, whenever we remememember ... the way, we were.

William said...

Hillary has got bedroom eyes in that photo. She could throw a fastball when she was younger.........So many storybook marriages weren't anything like people believed. Eleanor Roosevelt's domestic life was full of kinks and betrayals. Who would have ever guessed that she had lesbo pillow fights with the founders of the League of Women Voters or that her own daughter arranged meetings between FDR and his girlfriend? And JFK and Jacqueline. I'm sure that they loved each other, but their romance was not the stuff of Harlequin paperbacks.......We won't know the true story of the Clinton marriage for another fifty years, but there might be a double reverse to the story. They might really like each other. It's certain that their marriage has endured longer than that of Tipper and Al Gore--that was another widely advertised storybook marriage......I think people will be speculating on the true nature of the Clinton marriage for another hundred years.

bagoh20 said...

I think she looks kinda hot in that photo. Like a naughty little dirty girl that lets you look up her dress for a quarter. Inflation has ruined everything about that deal.

Amartel said...

She definitely looks better than her husband in the early photos.
Shoulda stayed a Goldwater girl.

MamaM said...

Creepy.

In the just-for-fun facts category, naughty little dirty girls don't come shooting out of the womb that way, intent on searching for some cheesey Dorito who'll pay them a quarter for a thrill. Something despicable happens along the way to growing up that leads to their devaluation.

Hillary doesn't look anything close to hot to me. Whatever went down for Hillary, the disconnect is already showing on her face in that picture. No wonder she wears a mask and covers herself with lies.

bagoh20 said...

I knew a girl in elementary school that would do that for a quarter. I had a quarter, but didn't think it was worth it. I've always been too frugal. I don't know what happened to her, but I bet she's still a virtuoso at the art of the deal. Unlimited inventory, low cost of production, huge market, competitive pricing.

Methadras said...

There was a time when Hillary could look really good, but the lighting, angle, color, time of day, or rather the universe would have to get everything right for that to happen, but deep inside lurked the harpy from hell.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

I Know it's dIck Morris but this is really great.

..."The aging and raging ex-president, meanwhile, speaking to a half-filled gym in a New Hampshire school, ranted about Sanders’s “hypocrisy” in condemning his wife’s paid speeches. Sanders, too, has given paid speeches, Bill Clinton claimed.

He’s got a point. In 2013, for example, Sanders made all of $1,500, which he donated to charity as required by federal law. In 2014, he raked in $1,850 for paid speeches. By contrast, Clinton made, and kept, over $21 million during the same time period. Sanders was only reimbursed for coach class airfare, while Clinton demanded private jets.

lol. I love watching Hillary crash and bern.

Adamsunderground said...

It's the big hair. Flowing hair in the Seventies often looked better than the unabashed hairspray creations later in the Eighties. And her open collar, exposing a slim neck, softens those lumpy, ugly-duckling features above.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

that weird chipmunk smile is there - if look close. It's a sign of pure evil.

bagoh20 said...

The smile is what I think I like. That, and the pure evil.

rcocean said...

Those aren't Hillary's bed room eyes. She just took off her Coke bottle glasses for the photo.