Sunday, January 17, 2016

NYC Values

A Public Masturbation Booth Just For Men!

Gothamist: "The masturbatory marketing scheme was inspired by a Time Out NY survey which found that 39% of NY men questioned had masturbated at some point while at work. The out-of-service telephone booth has a black curtain, a folding chair, a laptop computer, and a Hot Octopuss ad along the side.

"Here's how Hot Octopuss co-founder Adam Lewis explained the booth in a press release. See how many "subtle" references to masturbation you can find!
There’s no denying that working a nine to five job can be stressful on both your mind and body, especially in a non-stop city like Manhattan. It’s really important for guys to look after themselves so that they can stay healthy and focus properly on the task in hand. We’re told time and time again how beneficial it is to have a break away from your desk. At Hot Octopuss we are all about looking for new solutions to improve everyday life and we feel we’ve done just that with the new GuyFi booth. We hope the city’s men enjoy using the space we’ve created in whatever way they want. It’s completely free of charge… all that we ask is they thank us when they get their promotion!
"...Public masturbation is an illegal and pernicious offense that has become an unfortunate regular part of many innocent straphangers' daily commutes. In December, it was reported that there had been 699 such incidents reported in the last five months of 2015 up from 593 in the same period in 2014...

"So will these booths siphon off some of our scummier subway masturbators and prove to be a reasonable outlet for men who can't control their impulses, or will they stand as a tone-deaf and distinctly gross marketing scheme that never should have made it past the brainstorming phase?

19 comments:

I'm Full of Soup said...

More of those New York values?

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

I always read Levity Comment Home when I do that - no matter where I happen to be.

The homepage should be displayed on screens in the interior of the structure.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

AJ Lynch reads a bible when he masturbates and points his member into the barrel of a gun while caressing a piece of anthracite, to give him the energy to remind himself of the good old days.

It's great to know that deviancy isn't just less common where there are fewer and more uptight people, but that it doesn't exist at all. And is dealt with in a very mature and rational way.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Interesting website you spend your Sunday mornings reading, Lem. I'd about had enough of it, when I came across a prediction Monty Python might have made.

I think I'll leave the rest of this topic to AJ and whomever else has dirty things they feel compelled to do and perhaps "confess" to a guy wearing a collar in a little box later.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Touchy issue with R&B.

Rabel said...

This woman looks kind of uptight.

AllenS said...

I think R&B woke up this morning with one of those not so fresh feelings.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

R&B - you seem on edge. Perhaps you need to take the edge off. I know a place where you can go. Down Town.. where all the lights are bright.

When you're alone and life is making you lonely
You can always go, downtown
When you've got worries all the noise and the hurry
Seems to help I know, downtown

Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalk, where the neon signs are pretty
How can you lose? The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares

So go
Downtown, things will be great when you're
Downtown, no finer place for sure
Downtown, every thing's waiting for you

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

If I did (or if it were) I now know who would be most interested in it, AllenS and Lem.

I just find excessive curiosity in what other people do to be weird.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

I apologize for not being brought up to believe in things like promise rings, abstinence-only education or confessing secret sexual "sins" to others. But I guess it only became a "touchy" issue when I it was reported that those people were more likely to be doing much weirder things, themselves.

I'm Full of Soup said...

"I just find excessive curiosity in what other people do to be weird".

Said by the reliably judgmental, doctrinarire, librul buttinsky.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Said by the reliably judgmental, doctrinarire, librul buttinsky.

Is someone butting into your butt, AJ? You know, you can report these things nowadays. It's not like in the old days when they'd just get transferred to another parish.

Also, I wasn't aware that religious dogmatists had abandoned doctrine. You must be one of those "cafeteria conservatives" I keep always hearing about.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

ASSuptionists. that should be a word.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Well, I'm already sorry I commented on this thread. One should never get in the way of people and their curiosities - and this is apparently a very curious issue for some people.

People do disgusting things in public. From picking their noses to biting their nails to - and I guess this falls into a different category because public masturbators are not incorrectly presumed to have boundary issues that could seep into violative deviancy such as voyeurism, stalking etc., (and all sorts of other lovely behaviors that The Gothamist has informed me about in their writing - like brushing up against people in subways in sexual ways. Very nice. Thanks, Gothamist!)

I once saw a young immigrant woman on the elevated Chicago rail system slip her hands down into her pants, rub in a circular scratching motion for a few seconds, remove her hand, hold it in front of her face, and take a deep whiff of the sort that one would ascribe to a detective or medical examiner. Or perhaps a wine connoisseur. But she seemed to be dressed as a housekeeper so maybe hygiene and cleanliness were extra-important to her.

Yes, people do disgusting things. They even smoke in public, too. They get drunk, they vomit everywhere. They overpopulate the planet and throw their garbage everywhere.

Might as well deal with it realistically.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

You won't get any argument from me on earth's population. There are way too many people on it.

chickelit said...

You get more of what you subsidize.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

People blame on NYC what can really be attributed to American vulgarity in general combined with a massive 10+ million or more population. Every little problem becomes magnified greatly because of that. NYC people are generally often pretty warm and nice (and more, willing to actually understand your concerns rather than just pretend they do) - but they do tend to have things they need to do and realize that excessive moralizing is simply burdensome. If they want to provide a place for would-be criminals and whomever else to stay out of other people's way, so be it. It reminds me of when I was in Amsterdam two years ago and saw a big metal kiosk in the middle an open square that had urinals situated around the entire thing - very handy at 2 AM, as weird as it might look if in use for that purpose at 2 PM.

Point being that increased population has a way of cheapening everything. I guarantee you that if Omaha NE or Ames IA or any of the other "better values" places suddenly surged to a hundred times the population they currently have, they'd see the exact same problems. Even if that population were the same "better values" Brady Bunch and LDS people that the moralizers here presume would make NYC better off.

bagoh20 said...

Shouldn't there be a tag: "Things a Republican warned you about"?

bagoh20 said...

I know what you mean. When you get a lot of people crowded together, they start doing things that they know are just stupid, selfish and gross. That's probably why large urban centers vote Democrat.