Thursday, July 2, 2015

You've got mail





To: Dakota Johnson
From: Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton Private email account
Re: Fifty shades of Grey

Hey Dakota.

How ya doing? I would like to congratulate you on the great success of you new film. I it inspiring. Bill has seen it fifty times already.

As you might know I am running for President and I would like you on my team. Especially since you are familiar with the Fifty Shades of Grey. So I need your advice.

You see my pubes are just about fifty shades of grey and I wonder if I should dye them so I will look younger on the Campaign Trail. Sometimes it shows through my pants suits. Especially the powder blue ones that are my favorite.

So I was wondering if you could stop by my Campaign Headquarters to sneak a peak. I value you opinion. With your help we can lick this problem.

So to speak.

Toodles
Hill.

7 comments:

Shouting Thomas said...

Good God, Trooper!

That pic could make me swear off fornication for the remainder of my days on this earth!

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

One email has Huma apologizing to Hillary for being unable to keep Al Gore at bay.

Hillarious.

AllenS said...

Dear Hillary,

Shave them off. Yuck.


Yours, Dakota

Orrey G.Rantor said...

Bah, go here and scroll down:

https://westernrifleshooters.wordpress.com/2014/07/27/fundamental-transformation-its-a-small-world-after-all/


Consume and enjoy! :)



Orrey G.Rantor said...

To cleanse the mind (NSFW usually):

http://eyebleach.us/

So far the best hill email I've seen is the one of her having problems with a fax machine.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

frightening. *shiver*


Dear Hillary,
Instead of paying 600 bucks each time you get coiffed and bleached, save some money and do it naked at home in your rented mansion. Use a bit of leftover mix on your short hairs. L'Oreal has a coupon.

yours,
the tax payer

edutcher said...

Hey, you've seen the pic of her drooling over Christina Aguilera's cleavage.

That's what the Hildabeast was thinking.