Thursday, October 16, 2014

assertive raven NSW

The man says bad words. Video description says he is waiting outside at the DMV


Our DMV on Mississippi is a riot. 

The written exam and the driving test have been dumbed down to make more people eligible. Kind of like the NYT crosswords is now loaded with brand names and pop culture references, and Jeopardy! is loaded up with goofy categories. The two driving tests used to be serious but now they are not. There used to be a good chance you might even fail. Now there is no sense to studying, just go.

I was compelled to go, the last time I went. The state decided upon renewal that we all need new photo licenses but they did not say that is their reason for calling us in. I wondered after it all why they didn't just say so, why they kept us all in the dark as to why we are being called in unnecessarily. Did we do something wrong? The state has a good and informative website, but they failed to say, "oh we just want a new picture of you." They knew it would be subverted if they did. I would have subverted, at least got myself up, not dragged in from the summer heat.  They gave me no chance to subvert, not knowing the only thing they wanted was a new photograph. At the decision making level, what manipulative bastards.

Whereas everybody is so nice at the DMV it's incredible. They treated me like gold.

The whole interior is changed. I said to the first woman I encountered, "I like what you've done to the place," although I was indifferent to what they did to the place. She answered, "Wait till you get into it. They messed it up worse." And they did. Now you wait for each individual step as a herd instead of being ushered through the process once your number is picked. Now your number must be picked four or five times, but I did not know that at the beginning. She continued "go to one of those kiosks back there that you passed and ..." 

I didn't see a kiosk. 

I know what a kiosk is, I know what one looks like.


Or perhaps like a little hut. Like a one-day photo developer hut. She points to the kiosks but I still do not see them.  This not recognizing a kiosk along with my daft opening remark caused the woman to regard me as slow and in need extra assistance. She got up and walked with me back to what I had just passed to one of a few input stations set upon an upright much like this. I said, "Oh!" Nothing at all like a hut. And now she's convinced I'm retarded and in need of help attaining a license. She enters my information for me and directs me to the next station. 


A large group of people is seated waiting as I walk in my stately upright manner a bit beaten by summer heat but not all that shabby, I didn't think, my steps carefully measured with two canes that have handles that fit my left and right hand, very careful on polished floors because it would be disastrously embarrassing to fall in front of seated spectators like that. It wouldn't be long I expected. I do need to stand and move. Then suddenly a man who for all the world looks like a giant gay biker stands up from his seat and with a gracious sweep of his arm asserts affirmatively, "Sir. Have this chair." 


Such a gentleman. Do I look that bad? Shit. "Thank you! I think they're going to call my number soon." 

He sat back down. I stood only a minute, they called. I chatted it up with the guy taking information. Incredibly responsive conversationally. He was a very nice person. Then waited again.

Then chatted it up with the next person. This is the last for the photo. Incredibly responsive conversationally. She was a very nice person. But now the supervisor is unhappy with my chatting it up and whispered a direction into her ear and she stopped.  I waited again. Then, name called again, then pay, then wait again, then photo, then gone. 

7 comments:

chickelit said...

@Chip: Doesn't Colorado issue state ID cards? No exam required. Just proof of residency.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

I saw that video earlier but I was warned the YouTube poster was not allowing it to be shared... so I didn't even try.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

I went to the DMV here in Florida knowing I would probably be flagged from my troubles in NJ.

I was. I still went ahead and took the... it was not really a written test, more like a touch screen test.

Florida also makes new driver license applicants take an online substance abuse course $20.00.

I aced that.

Chip Ahoy said...

Chick, yes, they do.

rcocean said...

Chip, great post as usual. I went to the DMV 4 years ago and expected the worse. I breezed through. They made it so much easier. I swear they've even moved the Eye chart closer. And no one seemed the least bit interested in whether I was really the person I claimed to be. "Hey, you're a US citizen and RcOcean, well who are we to question?"

It was just like voting.

rcocean said...

It reminds me of the driving test from 30-35 years ago. I was pissed I didn't get 100 percent. The Driving instructor told me to parallel part, which I did - like a pro.

Then as we drove off, to continue the exam, she said, I have to deduct 4 points. You didn't turn the wheels to the right at the end. We were on an upgrade.

I said nothing - but I thought "Of course I didn't turn my wheels, we weren't stopping there, we were going to drive away. I thought the point was to see if I could Parallel park!

Bitch.

The Dude said...

That is not a kiosk, not a lectern, not a podium, what the hell is that thing? A terminal on a stand? A standinal?