Sunday, August 10, 2014

Housewives of Melbourne


The individual indicated, Gina, I learned by looking online, is a tranny or I am a monkey's uncle.

Disclosure: I actually am the uncle of a couple of little monkeys so it's hardly a good bet.

A million tells. Possibly five or six good tells. 

I noticed by clicking through channels. I was snagged by an unfortunate accent, one that squeezed vowels to near extinction. She was talking about ESP and about being diagnosed for cancer. The whole time I was thinking, "Nobody, and I mean nobody applies contrasting lip outliner except drag queens, and overly darkened expanded beyond eye sockets eye make up, with excessively long eyelashes. I'm looking at a drag queen." Simple as that. 

Heavy makeup beyond the pale is the first clue of a drag queen. Her makeup kit is a fishing tackle box.

Standing up, Gina in her tight-fitting dress has the backside of a man. Not the shape of a woman. Not the sinuous movement a woman's body makes when she moves. The weight does not shift as a woman's weight shifts so fascinatingly. The hips are those of a man.

The next scene was the women assembled together at a party. Gina reached out to feel another woman's breast, I suppose to check on their authenticity. That is a liberty a drag queen would take not an upper class woman, not even an Australian woman would do that. But a drag queen would.

Disclosure: Some women I know are so proud of their new breasts they offered to allow me to feel them, without me even asking. Conclusion: they fell hard and unlike natural breasts.

The woman Gina attempted to feel up blocked her intrusion and grabbed her wrist and chided her attempt. Then oddly, compared hands. No dialogue just a quick hand comparison. The real woman's hands are half the size of Gina's, admittedly taller, but still, those are monstrously large hands, even more so with ridiculously extended nails. 

Excessive makeup
Moderately deep voice that is purposefully softened
Drag queen nails that wealthy women avoid
Hips of a man.
Not a woman's butt
Dominates conversation
Aggressive opinions.
Oversized wide manly hands
Drag queen stage poses that real women do not make.

It is quite obvious. Were she to tone it down she'd be less obvious. And that is something drag queens cannot do. They're always reliably over the top.

21 comments:

ndspinelli said...

Another trash show for Trooper to watch.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

And here my first thought was that she is simply gross-looking.

Well done.

The Dude said...

Thanks for the arrow.

Amartel said...

Just that one?

rcocean said...

You could also compare forearms.

edutcher said...

No, Lyddie, Euro women are elegant, especially Signora Ponti.

"She" screams weird.

Disclosure: Some women I know are so proud of their new breasts they offered to allow me to feel them, without me even asking. Conclusion: they fell hard and unlike natural breasts.

Interesting point.

Implants generally look like boulders shoved under the skin.

The Dude said...

How anyone could compare that person with Sophia is beyond me - watch "Ieri, oggi, domani" as reference material. Yeah, that's why I watch it...

Lydia said...

Sorry, guys, but I don't think the Melbourne lady looks all that different from Sophia.

The Dude said...

Sure, an 80 year old Sophia looks over done.

The defense rests.

Trooper York said...

Women come in all shapes and sizes. Breasts do as well. Sometimes in different sizes on the same girl. It is notoriously difficult to tell by a photo.

You need to do the squeeze test as Chips asserts. Like with lemons. Or cantaloupes. So to speak.

Trooper York said...

I am deliberately giving this Housewives show a pasadena. In fact the genre is almost played out. They are really repeating themselves.

The New Jersey version has spiralled into boredom. Atlanta has become a real hot mess. Orange County used to be one of the best but is now one of the worst. New York City might be canceled.

The only one you can look forward to is Beverly Hills for the house porn. Just sayn'

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

While we're on the subject of phony, that woman all the way on the right is wearing a dress that's obviously crafted to make her look as if she has a much better body than she actually does.

Does that crap really fool people?

Yeah. I know. That's a really dumb question.

Forget I asked.

ricpic said...

Why do the women featured on these Housewives Of shows always look so coarse? There are the fairest female flowers on every street corner in Melbourne. I've never been to Melbourne but trust me, there are.

Christy said...

Aren't "Housewives" by design vulgar?

Twenty years ago European women, particularly Eastern European women, wore heavy make-up only seen on street walkers here in the States. Remember the Olympic skater Oskana Baiul and her overly done eyes? Is this simply cultural differences?

Beloved Commenter AReasonableMan said...

William said...
If less than three percent of the population is gay, what percent is transsexual.


I've known two, both working guys, skilled tradesmen who you would never have suspected beforehand to be candidates for a gender crisis. One was married with two daughters. In both cases I found their transition just plain baffling. The stereotypical image of drag queens did not apply in the slightest to either of these guys.

edutcher said...

Christy said...

Aren't "Housewives" by design vulgar?

The shows sure are.

William said...

If less than three percent of the population is gay, what percent is transsexual

Remember it's 1.6% that self ID, so there are probably some that say, "Yes", just to be fashionable and some that have been snipped and nipped who think they're now normal.

Call it 1.3% and let it go.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

They should do a show....housewives of bodunk nowhere (where I live out in the sticks). It would be pretty boring....or maybe not. It would certainly involve farm animals. :-)

This housewife[moi]had an absolutely scintillating day, canning 7 quarts of Santa Rosa plums, and another 7 or so tomorrow Mowing the grass. Feeding the animals. Picking some of the wild plums for jam or canning later this week. Doing laundry. And cooking a gourmet diabetic meal for my husband. (Lemon Butter baked cod. Brown basamati rice with spices and chopped green onions. Zucchini fritters.)

I imagine the other housewives in the area had similar exciting days while their husbands were goofing off at their plumbing, logging, ranching, truck driving jobs.

We are all, of course, dressed in our fabulously sexy outfits of jeans, tee shirts, straw hats and cowgirl boots. Yup. A real life of glamor it is. I can really relate to those "Housewives Shows". My life is exactly similar.

KCFleming said...

Apparently a real quote from Gina on RHOM: "I have often described myself as the ultimate drag queen..

Unknown said...

Her/his hands are a dead give away. You can always tell a man by the hands. The third finger is as long if not longer than the first. Women do not share this in common with men.

Unknown said...

Her/his hands are a dead give away. You can always tell a man by the hands. The third finger is as long if not longer than the first. Women do not share this in common with men.

Unknown said...

Notice that Gina is always in a dress - no gender reassignment has been done. She cannot wear pants because she would be given away anatomically no matter how expert taping has been done. Gina's hairline surgery was not well done, it is so fake looking like a halo - though most tranny's do have their hairline surgically altered to look like a woman's. Gina can say that she is the "mother" of her sons, but that does not necessarily mean she has given birth to them - but they are most likely Gina's biological sons - I can bet she divorced a woman or women. And the most telling may be that she was photographed with Lisa Vanderpump in CA who is a big supporter of the LBTG community. I wish she would come out - I would be her biggest supporter and the show RHOM would be more fun to watch. The others are such bitchy bores!