Tuesday, April 1, 2014

CNN: “Boeing 777 Will Struggle To Maintain Altitude Once The Fuel Tanks Are Empty”

While most signs point to that Boeing 777 being lost to the sea, CNN is also lost, but still on the air.

13 comments:

Michael Haz said...

BREAKING STORY My car will struggle to maintain speed once fuel tank is empty.

Michael Haz said...

BREAKING STORY Bar will struggle to maintain customers once liquor bottles are empty.

The Dude said...

Interestingly, CNN "reporters" manage to keep their heads in the air, even though those very heads are empty.

I am guessing helium is involved.

Unknown said...

Avoiding all news stories about corrupt democrats will eventually force news agencies to run out of gas.

Unknown said...

Any discussion on CNN about Harry Reid's nepotism? Any information about the democrat Leland Yee and his amazing gun trafficking?

Shouting Thomas said...

I only watch sports on TV.

Keeps me sane.

Thinking of chucking the cable altogether. Can get sports broadcasts and Netflix over the internet.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

I don't think there is anything more they can squeeze out of that plane.

Unknown said...

I'm cured. Hallelujah.

edutcher said...

As most women will agree, that damned gravity.

JAL said...

No no no--

Alert: Reading comprehension problem at Lem's.

It's not a "Breaking Story"

It's a "Developing Story"

Meaning there is some place this story is --- going?

Actually, the CNN editors and layers of fact checkers have been pink slipped and all that is left to write headlines is the news anchor's 9 year old kid.

Methadras said...

In Soviet Russia gas empties you.

Leland said...

The Boeing 777 will not struggle at all. It is a machine with no comprehension of strife. Further, unless sitting on the ground, it will lose altitude once the fuel tanks empty. It will not maintain altitude at all.

But then everyone but CNN already knew this.

The Dude said...

CNN thought that an empty 777 would be light enough to ride a thermal upwards, surfing from one upwelling draft of warm air to the next, wafting along like a feather until it can touch down as lightly as a ballerina wearing red shoes.