Monday, March 10, 2014

"Can banning one school-yard word really change the world?"

"Sandberg -- the chief operating officer of Facebook and author of the best-selling book "Lean In" -- is spearheading the launch of a campaign today to ban the word "bossy," arguing the negative put-down stops girls from pursuing leadership roles."

"We know that by middle school, more boys than girls want to lead," Sandberg said, "and if you ask girls why they don't want to lead, whether it's the school project all the way on to running for office, they don't want to be called bossy, and they don't want to be disliked."

ABC News (video at the link)
Synova said...
Yeah, I'm bossy. Oh, maybe not really, but I sure don't mind the word! I chuckle at myself and call myself bossy.

What offends my sense of reason is the notion that if you call it "assertive" or "leadership" that it stops being bossy... or that there is anything wrong with being comfortable with stepping forward to direct efforts.

True enough I used to worry a whole lot that people wouldn't like me... but not calling it bossy wouldn't stop that! I wasn't worried about the *word*, I was worried that people would resent being told what to do. What I find, now that I'm old, is that most people would prefer not to put *themselves* forward and far from disliking you, are happy that someone else did it so they don't have to.

This is way different from having the sort of personality that won't *let* anyone else be in charge.

But by golly, when you're at a picnic and there isn't a "leader" and everyone stands around for an hour and a half because no one wants to be "bossy" and suggest that now might be a good time to start the charcoal... well, you're not pushing anyone else back in your scramble to be head honcho when you say, "Hey, why don't I start the charcoal, and maybe we can get the food put out now."

35 comments:

Paddy O said...

Nothing says bossy like trying to ban people from using words.

There's a difference, after all, between leadership and being bossy.

Leaders lead, people follow. Some people don't lead, they just want to lead, and are bossy. Bossy people whine and nag and get people to change by making up all sorts of rules that don't make sense but just herd people along.

Bossy people make good bureaucrats. Facebook is bossy. "Like what we have?" they say, "Here are some changes so it's a worse experience and you are reminded that we're in power."

Don't be bossy, little girls. If you want to lead, learn how to lead.

KCFleming said...

You can be bossy, but now we'll call it 'leaning' or 'empowering' or 'magic sticks.'

Shouting Thomas said...

My memories of middle school tell me that attempting to ban things only inflames the natural rebellion of kids and produces the opposite of the desired result.

I doubt that has changed.

TTBurnett said...

The first time I remember hearing that word was when my grandmother explained who Charles de Gaulle was.

"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but rapid-fire, 75 mm guns can wreck my whole day."

Unknown said...

Lean in. *sticks finger down throat* Gives it all away, dunnit?

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

And it's for reasons like this that the bossy bitch isn't taken seriously.

There's a whole thesaurus entry full of words for that presumptuous dictator to get cracking on. Rah rah female empowerment.

lemondog said...

**sigh**

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

At the risk of being not female enough, or too male, or whatever, Cheryl's edict sounds a bit domineering,
imperious, overbearing, pushy, authoritarian, commanding, controlling, despotic, dictatorial, high-handed, iron-handed, oppressive, overpowering, strict, and tyrannical.

It also sounds autocratic, imperious, peremptory, arrogant, assumptive, disdainful, fastuous, haughty, highfalutin (also hifalutin), high-and-mighty, high-hat, huffy, important, lofty, lordly, overweening, presuming, presumptuous, pretentious, proud, self-asserting, supercilious, superior, toplofty (also toploftical), uppish, uppity; commanding, controlling, dictating, regimental; arbitrary, imperial; directorial, magisterial; aggressive, assertive, self-assertive; imperative; conceited, narcissistic, pompous, vain; all-powerful, almighty, and omnipotent.

Good thing she's not a man. Who knows what people would say about such behavior!

Dust Bunny Queen said...

@ R&B....LOL.

That was funny.

It reminded me of a line from one of Dennis Miller's skits. What do you call a dinosaur with a large vocabulary? A Thesaurus.

Ba-dum-dum

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Although it's annoying, I suppose I could work for a woman who's bossy every now and then. A worse problem would be if she were bitchy, which is an adjective that could never be banned as too many women understand how useful the word is. Few women could live without access to a word that so aptly describes how they thinks so many other women can so often behave.

The real problem adjective is another one that will never be banned, because it's used in intimate settings that can't be controlled in as fascist a manner as a company like Facebook can be, and that's "nagging". Everyone knows what nagging is. It's the death of caring concern, brought about by the American woman's need to never be satisfied. But God forbid American gurlz would learn to purge that shitty kind of attitude from their psychology. We would sooner give up Big Macs and Chicken Nuggets.

edutcher said...

They don't have to say it, they'll still think it.

When does he want to ban megalomaniacal because it's raaaaaaccccciiissssstttttt?

edutcher said...

PS and OT:

CBS losing Sharyl Attkisson for cause makes me have a little more faith journolism might be saved after all.

This is what the Left needs generally.

People with integrity.

ricpic said...

Don't be bossy, little girls. If you want to lead, learn how to lead.

But they can't lead and make everything personal at the same time. A real conundrum for the female of the species.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

The Google home page says...

Google supports #BanBossy from Lean In & the Girl Scouts. Encourage girls to lead.

Nothing like the one of the worlds biggest bully, behind a campaign to ban something.

Unknown said...

RE:Ed
I think it's terrible news. The MSM are purging their news to only include pro-democrat party narratives. Real journalism is dying.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Bossy Freeman Hunt ;)

Titus said...

I am firing a young jewish employee tomorrow for saying, "I hate catholics" to a young catholic employee.

dumb, dumb, dumb.

Religion is a protected class along with race, sex and in Mass sexual orientation.

tits.

Titus said...

Fortunately, for grossie states, you can say you hate the gay, and suffer no penalties or consequences.

You are free to express your first and tell everyone from your employer, and realtor and apartment manager, and thats totally cool.

Chip Ahoy said...

Bos

Cow

Bossy the cow. Martinet. Hormonal. Witch on wheels. Wearer of bad shoes.

Matching pumps for a colostomy bag Oooooh NOoooo! He DINT say that, but I did!

I had such a boss, but you know what? She could get a pile of work done like nobody's business. It was inspiring. Truly. A huge pile, Whirrrrrrrrrrrr, whirrrrr whirrrrrr breathe, whirrrrrrr, whirrrrrrrr, whirrrrrrr, nose to grindstone whirrrrrrrrr, whirrrrrrrr done. Like a cartoon, a blur of arm activity and phone activity, and computer activity, and file activity, and the pile steadily reduces. Then all yakity yakity yak it all up now that work is done.

Titus said...

And your hate for the gay can allow them to be evicted and fired in grossie states...hallalula!!!!

Known Unknown said...

Real leaders ban nothing.

Synova said...

Yeah, I'm bossy. Oh, maybe not really, but I sure don't mind the word! I chuckle at myself and call myself bossy.

What offends my sense of reason is the notion that if you call it "assertive" or "leadership" that it stops being bossy... or that there is anything wrong with being comfortable with stepping forward to direct efforts.

True enough I used to worry a whole lot that people wouldn't like me... but not calling it bossy wouldn't stop that! I wasn't worried about the *word*, I was worried that people would resent being told what to do. What I find, now that I'm old, is that most people would prefer not to put *themselves* forward and far from disliking you, are happy that someone else did it so they don't have to.

This is way different from having the sort of personality that won't *let* anyone else be in charge.

But by golly, when you're at a picnic and there isn't a "leader" and everyone stands around for an hour and a half because no one wants to be "bossy" and suggest that now might be a good time to start the charcoal... well, you're not pushing anyone else back in your scramble to be head honcho when you say, "Hey, why don't I start the charcoal, and maybe we can get the food put out now."

Synova said...

A nice chain of command solves a lot of problems.

Changing a word won't solve the problem of informally shuffling your group into something with a "leader" and a direction and a focus.

When I'm in project groups now in school I tend to just say, right off, look, I tend to be a little pushy but it's not because I want my way, I will not be even a little bit put out if people push back or have a different idea, no one should be worried about that.

So far it seems to work.

rcocean said...

Bossy = take charge

rcocean said...

Two bossy women + one office = trouble

rcocean said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rcocean said...

What does "lean in" - supposed to mean? Its another one of these phrases I never see/hear in real life.

Trooper York said...

Boy things have really changed since I was a kid in grammar school. We didn't call girls like that bossy.

We called them cunts.

When did that go out of style?

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

The C word is out Troop... Rush got in hot water over Slut.

Slut is out too, I guess.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Sound like Synova and I are similar. I am assertive and generally a take charge type of person. In most situations in the business world, I ultimately ended up in a leadership position.

In my personal life, I know when to defer and when to be the power behind the scenes. To me "bossy" is a nagging, nitpicky, petty type of control. Something that is annoying and shows weakness. Anyone who is really a leader doesn't need to be 'bossy' I would never EVER consider trying to 'boss' my husband. And he wouldn't do the same to me.

I have been the literal boss, but I don't think I am bossy. When I was the actual Boss, I would detail what I wanted done, when it was to be done and the consequences to us if it wasn't done. HOW you did it was up to you. I didn't boss people around past that point. If people didn't perform when they knew the rules, well, then......

Like Synova, I also am willing to take push back and be convinced that perhaps I am not right. We are currently involved in a power struggle on the Board of Directors of a water district that I sit on. Whatever way it turns out, I can take it. If I get voted down...so be it. BUT, you can know that I will not be backed down.

Unknown said...

I really don't care if the the word "bossy" has positive or negative connotations. We're talking about banning WORDS here folks.

What the hell is wrong with the left? We have congressmen traveling to Cuba, returning, and singing the praises of the beyond horrible state-run commie health care system-- AND wanting to emulate it here.

Leland said...

Until this hullabaloo, the first and last time I heard the term "bossy" used for somebody was Lucy from Peanuts. The vast majority of women leaders I know are good at it, and when they are not, I just don't consider them leaders regardless of title. Using words like bossy never were necessary, so I guess it was effectively bannished from my personal lexicon before these women brought it up. Now, I have a desire to want to use it a sentence fairly often, just so I can see if I can cause these control nazis to get the vapors.

Yes April, we're talking banning words today. Tomorrow, we begin burning books. Next week, "Climate Deniers" will be burned at the stake. But don't mention at TOP that it is Progreesives that are doing this now as they were doing same a century ago.

Trooper York said...

Well you only do that April if you want to be elected Mayor of New York.

Titus said...

I fired someone today for saying "they hate catholics".

You are welcome Troop.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Skeez is much better than slut. Slut just means promiscuous or (God forbid) sexually fearless, but that might not be a bad thing. Skeez means dirty - and that's always a bad thing.