Monday, November 18, 2013

BREAKING!!!1!! Center for Kosher Culinary Arts Publishes Emergency Knish Recipe!

Thank G*d! 

Following the nationwide knish shortage that has resulted from a tragic fire at Gabila's Knish Factory, the Center for Kosher Culinary Arts has published a recipe so you can make your own Gabila-like knishes!

Yummy knish recipe.

Paging Mr. Ahoy.  Paging Mr. Chip Ahoy.  This looks like a project for the Ahoy Test Kitchen.

21 comments:

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

There's probably a parallel between taking offense at the patronizing use of some ethnicity as a sports mascot and taking offense at the cutesy use of Yiddish but I'm not sure at all what that parallel could possibly be.

Michael Haz said...

Mel Brooks is not available to comment.

ndspinelli said...

There is also a shortage of turkeys over 16lbs. It seems turkeys have become fans of Gwyenth Paltrow. The former is actually true.

rhhardin said...

This raises the personal quesiton of how long I can go without finding out what a knish is.

A minicontest like how long you can go without finding out who won the superbowl.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I'm pretty sure you're supposed to pronounce the "k" as its own syllable.

Chip Ahoy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chip Ahoy said...

I did look. Tons of YouTube videos on knishes. I watched dozens of them and read all about them. I did see this notification and their recipe they provided.

They're using a dough with modified pH to make it stretch ridiculously thin. Work on metal or marble work surface. Takes the whole table.

Rolled and stretched while rolling in a line, several rolled together like covering a snake like a savory strudel, then cut individually, the bottoms are simply pulled together. It's that stretchy. They hold each cut individual section wrapped with dough open on both ends and shove the filing down and pull the edges of the stretchy dough to seal one end, leaving the other end open.

Or the large sheet of dough is sliced with a pizza cutter, and are stretched and rolled individually and turned while rolling as if covering a baseball with super thin stretched window-pane dough.

Baked or deep-fried.

The whole thing is about the super stretch dough. The fillings vary wildly. For the most part, a potato cake wrapped in layers of super thin dough. Baked or deep fried.

It is all a giant pain in the ass to get layers of super thin dough wrapped around a potato cake or another similar filling.

One video I watched was more clever than most. That dough incorporated the potato with its thin red skin into the dough. So the dough covering is largely potato too. He did not bother rolling it super-dooper thin. His are folded as envelopes, not balls, and not open ended.

All agree they are served with spicy mustard.

Ridiculous adjective because straight mustard is the spiciest thing out there, like horseradish and wasabi. It actually has to be toned down. Except for chiles.

How is the dough made stretchy? By affecting the pH slightly one way or the other with a tablespoon of either baking soda or vinegar.

I used sour cream, acid, in the pierogi dough and that became very elastic and adhesive to itself.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I once spent a week in Prague.

I really liked the dumplings.

Just thought I'd mention that.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I recognized one of the hotel prostitutes from a porn movie I'd recently seen.

That was kind of mind-blowing, at first, but it soon made perfect sense, upon reflection.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I went for a night-time, after dinner stroll through Prague by myself because my wife was at some kind of a business meeting. In my wanderings I happened to come across a bronze statue in a public mini-garden or something. I forget if it was a statue of a man or an animal but I remember that it had testicles and they were all shiny.

I figured you were supposed to rub them for good luck.

I respectfully declined, being insufficiently drunk at the time.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I'm sort of hoping it was a man on his hands and knees as if he were an animal.

I kind of like the idea, now that I'm at a safe distance.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

The internet is an amazing thing.

See what I mean?

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

The Bing search I used for that was "prague bronze statue rub testicles" in case anyone was wondering.

First time.

Nothing but net.

rcocean said...

Prague was one of the few Central/East Europe Capitals that got through WW2 more or less intact. So their "old" central district is fun to visit.

rcocean said...

I'm a low carb diet so all this knish stuff isn't very appetizing.

deborah said...

Knish schmish, I want to make thish.

Michael Haz said...

@Deborah - I volunteer to be the taste tester.

deborah said...

:) you got it, Haz.

ricpic said...

I kind of like the idea, now that I'm at a safe distance.

Story of my life.

ricpic said...

I could be all wrong about this but I'm pretty sure the secret to good knish dough is cold water. That's the secret to good bagels and, ya know, bagels, knishes, same famiglia.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Are you sure you guys have enough כוצפּאַ און וויציקייַט to comment on that? Of course, dishes like this are bland enough that they may fit.

Sorry I don't know of any good rugelach bakeries in the Midwest anymore, but I'm sure the recipe would be easy enough. Or you could venture just close enough to Obama's "enemy territory" of Chicago (i.e. Skokie) and see what pops up.

I actually remember going to an interesting diner there one time.