Thursday, August 29, 2013

OK, be honest...

Who among us wouldn't have an ex or two executed by firing squad, if they could get away with it?
Why are you looking at me that way?  What?  I'm the only one?  Oh, fuck you guys.

44 comments:

deborah said...

Don't mess around with Kim.

William said...

As a mitigating factor it should be noted that she had put on ten pounds.

ken in tx said...

My first wife is dead now. She smoked herself to death without my help. However there were a few times when if I wasn't too drunk to get out of my recliner, I would have put a bullet in her head. When I was drunk was the only time I had enough nerve to think about doing it.

I am grateful for booze.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

As a mitigating factor it should be noted that she had put on ten pounds.

All the same, we're still dealing here with an unconscionable waste of a perfectly good sex slave.

deborah said...

Ken, if you'd been more forthcoming at Althouse you'd have gotten way more attention!

edutcher said...

Oh, that was you, Pasta.

I thought it was someone from TOP.

Shouting Thomas said...

My Exes are all in Texas!

Shouting Thomas said...

I am grateful for booze.

I can no longer drink, so I long for the medicinal and therapeutic value of a good shot of Aha Toro Tequila.

AllenS said...

Maybe we could bomb them after we get done killing some Syrians.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

MadisonMan said...
The day....

..the music...

...died.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

At some point, it must have crossed Bill Clintons mind... commander in chief of the most powerful armed forces in the world?

Be honest bubba.

john said...

She tried riding that stallion, but couldn't stay on it.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

When Dominican dictator Rafael Leonidas Trujillo killed three sisters of a connected family, story tellers marked those killings as the straw that broke the camels back.

He was a dictator for over 30 years.

Chip Ahoy said...

Did you catch the bit about the others killed too? One State enemy was special. His Compacted Corpulence said, "Let not one hair of the man remain."

So the regular firing squad got together and considered how to handle that one. They'd need the whole military for that. I imagine. They positioned the man standing there on a big white "X" in the middle of nowhere blindfolded and smoking a deplorable cheap cigarette, a mortar fire target. Part of that I'm imagining. And blasted the man to Smithereens, an imaginary place of total destruction. I read at the link. Then His Compacted Corpulence ordered, by dint of whispered suggestion, half the nearby government workforce wear N. Korean style hazmat suits scour the blast area for hair, and if any hair found, even one single strand, then another precisely targeted mortar blast. I'm imagining that whole last part. Did you read that? The others were a machine gun firing squad. That's straightup serious, right there. None of this mystery of which man has the rifle with the real bullet.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

BTW...

If the hacking of the NYT and Twitter can be added to the causes for attacking Syria... couldn't Obama say "look, if we don't attack Syria a very nice western lady is going to get it... her life hangs in the balance"

Republicans want kill the wives of dictators, poison the air and water.

I'm only helping the president thru this "bump in road" of his administration.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

An attack on Syria means saving the life of this woman.

Don't let Assad kill his wife... call your congressman and senator and tell them to vote for authorization giving president Obama the tools he needs to save that woman's life.

Anonymous said...

Her song is just too bouncy and happy, I prefer Emmylou Harris' "Ballad of a Runaway Horse". If ya gotta sing about stallions at least make it a love 'em and leave 'em kinda song.

I guess he loved her and left her.

The Dude said...

I kind of like most of my ex-girlfriends. I only have one ex-wife, and didn't even recognize her at my son's wedding.

I guess after all these years I really don't care whether she lives or dies. I don't even want to know.

Sure, I used to say "I miss my ex-wife, but my aim's getting better" but that was when the divorce was still fresh.

I got bettah!

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

Machine gunning's a nice touch, granted. So's a well-placed mortar round.

But for sheer quick-witted, MacGyver-like ingenuity that also sends a message that's hard to miss, it's tough to beat Pablo Escobar.

Legend has it that he was throwing a big party at his estate and some guy who worked for the caterer got caught lifting silverware or something like that.

Escobar had the guy bound hand and foot. Then Escobar made an announcement to the partygoers: "This is what happens to those who steal from Pablo Escobar!"

Then he had the guy tossed into the swimming pool.

In his defense though, I'm going to assume that it was later in the evening, that the guests were already in their evening clothes, and that no one was planning on taking a dip later on, anyway.

No sense in ruining the festivities, after all.

sakredkow said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
john said...

Inga said...If ya gotta sing about stallions at least make it a love 'em and leave 'em kinda song.

Either way, just stay tall in the saddle.

virgil xenophon said...

Note buried in the body of the story was the statement that many "were found with Bibles on them."

DOUBLEplusungood..

virgil xenophon said...

Hows that old C&W song go? "My wife ran off with my best friend and I miss him.."


OR


"Get your clothes out of the closet, your feet from under the table, and get your tongue out of my mouth 'cause I'm kissin' you goodby." LOL!

AllenS said...

"There must be 50 ways to leave your lover." -- Paul Simon

Looks like there's now 51 ways.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I guess after all these years I really don't care whether she lives or dies. I don't even want to know.

Ditto. Me and my ex. At some point there will be a funeral for him. I won't be attending.

think I'm better off with the blues turn up the sound. Better yet. Buy the CD.

You just can't beat honky tonk music for calling it like it is.

:-D

rhhardin said...

"If I'd killed you when I wanted to I'd be out by now" is reported to be a country song.

You get three songs when you get married and three more when you get divorced, according to songwriter Harlan Howard.

All my ex-girlfriends are on good terms, but I'm not a songwriter.

rhhardin said...

A couple of years ago a guy was tending the newspaper vending machine in front of the post office.

He asked if I wanted a free paper.

No.

He'd just been fired and was on his last day.

Don't burn any bridges, I said.

When you interview for another job, tell how much you liked this one.

Your prospective next boss is thinking this is how you'll speak of him, too.

Thanks, the guy said.

ndspinelli said...

There is a goo National Geographic documentary titled, Inside North Korea. And American film crew accompanied an eye surgeon who flew to N. Korea to do much needed eye surgeries. It is a real look into this cult of personality. N. Korea is not a country, it's a cult.

Synova said...

"Some of the musicians were also found to have bibles when they were detained and all were treated as political dissidents."

And what they were arrested for was supposedly making video of themselves having sex and selling the videos.

Sounds like someone couldn't quite make up his mind over what to charge them with.

Leland said...

Ok, I'll be honest: "not me".

I had an ex threaten to commit suicide, and I admit that only gave me confidence I wasn't making the right decision to dump her. She didn't, and if she had, I would not have felt responsible.

Pastafarian said...

Ken in SC: Holy crap, I would never have guessed that from you.

Next, we'll learn that PaddyO is a serial killer, and Freeman Hunt has an underground torture chamber beneath her carport.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

AllenS.

lol.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Picking up on what Rh is saying I'm thinking the jobless rate could uses some tweaking... or is that twerking now.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

PaddyO is a serial killer

Somebody's been talking'.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Hold it... isn't the NSA monitoring everything?

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Kim could kill his woman... we are only allowed to ...

Well, the laws are not clear, there is a big penumbra out there.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Hey Lem, have you read anything by Junot Diaz?

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

No I haven't.

Known Unknown said...

The Red Chapel

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Just curious. He's a well-regarded Dominican-American writer. I knew nothing about the DR until I read his work and I don't know if I know anything now, or if I know things that aren't true.

I like his short stories and I loved The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

I linked you to this!

And to be honest, yes we have all thought that at one time about somebody.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

@Synova

And what they were arrested for was supposedly making video of themselves having sex and selling the videos.

Sounds like someone couldn't quite make up his mind over what to charge them with.


Yeah - I doubt the charges are real.

Trooper York said...

Hey I am taking up a collection to buy Kim Kardashian a ticket to North Korea. Who wants in?

Methadras said...

She's a WITCH!!!